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Hope & Inspiration – A New Mom Who Used Frozen Egg Donation

“I didn’t want to use an egg donor. But I did want a baby and that changed everything.

For my husband and I, we had no other options. It took me a week or more to manage the grief that my body did not have enough healthy eggs. It took another week for us to warm to the idea of egg donation. Our turning point was imagining a baby who would not genetically come from me but would be nourished by my body and bathed in my chemistry. I would be carrying and growing a baby.

The egg donor process is not one that you can chat with coworkers about or the lady behind you in the grocery store. Its intense, it feels strange at first and is greatly misunderstood by many who know nothing about it but have strong opinions about it. The two coordinators who helped me through the process at Fairfax EggBank were incredibly valuable. They talk with families every day who choose egg donation as an option. And they talked with me. They didn’t think a single question was odd or unanswerable. They were kind and supportive. They felt like an extension of the support I was receiving from my fertility clinic.

And then…it happened. It worked. I was pregnant. I didn’t believe the pregnancy would continue, but with the egg donor, through Fairfax Egg Bank, I had a baby. She is now an 11 month old, cute-as-a-button, giggly goose. I had read that many people don’t think about the egg donor. I do. Every day. It’s amazing. Through the “gift” of a stranger, I get to be a mother. I get to walk through the door and hear my sweet baby squeal while she wraps her chubby arms around my neck. Her smile lights up a room and our lives. I am blessed.”

 

~ A New Mom Who Used Frozen Egg Donation ~

Anonymous Mommy’s Story

At first, I wasn’t sure how to begin to write this. After giving it some thought, I opted to start at the very beginning of my journey. For some of you it will hit home and for others it might not. Either way, (you’ve been warned) the following is not sugar-coated, because my goal is to wake you… shake you… warn you… because nobody else did this for me.

I grew up with two parents who were not in love with each other. They got pregnant while dating. In short, they went through the motions raising me because, back then, divorces were unheard of. I swore to myself that I would never marry or get pregnant unless I was in love. Do not get me wrong, I lived a very happy and celebrated life. I had an amazing career that also helped to blaze a path for future generations, while contributing to society. Then I found … him.

We started trying to have a baby almost immediately, but without success. Like so many others, I was under the delusion that for as long as I had my period, I was capable of getting pregnant. I’m telling you all this because I wished that I had someone tell me all of this. For example, my OBGYN never approached me during my 20’s and so on about freezing my eggs, nor was I asked if I wanted to check my FSH and hormone levels, etc., at any time. After everything that I had gone through, I think it should be a prerequisite for all OBGYNS to have this discussion with all of their patients.

Anyhoo, we went to a fertility specialist and, shockingly, my FSH and hormones were equivalent to a 30 year old. That is why the specialist accepted me as a patient. He cautioned that those levels DID NOT necessarily mean that I would get pregnant or have a successful full term or have a “normal” child. Naturally, he was correct. After a few rounds of IUIs, a turn of events forced us to put fertility on hold.

Years later, when that situation subsided, I knew at this point for me to have my family, I needed help from a donor. Then it was a matter of choosing fresh or frozen. I was fortunate to have known two women who chose the fresh donor route. In short, after hearing their grueling stories, with their Doctors’ cold and callous approach, the end result was that they both wound up with only one viable embryo. One friend had a beautiful boy and the other had a gorgeous girl. After being by their side during their ordeals and bearing witness to their heartache, I opted for frozen. I soon after opted for Fairfax because they show pictures of the donors as well as guarantee one viable embryo.

Now, my experience with Fairfax…

I dealt with Samantha. Samantha is a calm, collected and reasonable person. Every time that I had a question, she answered directly and honestly. When she didn’t know, she said so and got back to me with an answer. I was so lucky to have been paired with someone like me… good old fashioned honesty. I was therefore able to assess my options better and make realistic decisions because of Samantha’s professionalism.

When it came to my fertility procedure, this time it was IVF. I am not going to lie, most of the people in this fertility clinic were cold and callous. I did not go to the same clinics as my other two friends. The process was extremely terrifying… a lot of “ifs.” Samantha was always there to balance that out… filling in the bedside manners. Every single time, she was available to explain the procedures and reassure me, when I needed to be calm and confident with my choices. In the end, Samantha became my ‘go to’ because I often felt that I could not rely upon the specialist or the clinic… most of them often could not be bothered with taking the time to address my concerns and elaborate the way that Samantha did.

Samantha kept me calm all throughout my frustrated and panicked days… well, whenever I called her. I called her to tell her the clinic’s initial claim on viable blastocysts; there were 3. Days later, I then called to tell her the end result – there was only one viable blastocyst – the one inside of me. I had to patiently wait to see if the blastocyst would Implant and develop. Naturally, at this point, it could have gone either way so I deliberately remained calm because I didn’t want to look back and blame myself if it did not work out… it was very grueling waiting for the results.

I presently have a wonderful, healthy child who drives me happily and LOVINGLY crazy. My beautiful child… my incredible and amazing child.

Thank you Samantha for your integrity… for being there… and for being you.

Thank you Fairfax for your vigorous effort and technology to help all of us who have a story as to why we couldn’t do it on our own. May you continue to do just that.

~ An Anonymous Mommy ~

Tiffany’s Story

I had my first egg donation with Fairfax August 2016 and it was nothing short of exceptional! I have donated one time before with a different fertility company and could not be happier I applied to FairFax. They were super thorough and really take their time to work with you and make sure you are completely comfortable. They kept me informed on everything going on and always answered my questions right away. I really appreciated being kept in the circle at all times and any emails I sent asking questions or concerns were answered right away.

When donating with FairFax I did not have to wait for a couple to pick me and wait for our cycles to be on track together compared to another clinic I previously worked with. That really stood out to me because once the intended parents are ready to try and if they pick my eggs will already be ready and neither person will have the stress of getting on the same cycle and can take their time. In my opinion it makes everything so much smoother and less stressful.

Everyone at FairFax is very informative and extremely nice. They definitely make it all about you and want to meet every need you have when you are thinking about donating or going through your first cycle. I had such a good experience working with them that I actually decided to donate a second time with them. I would recommend working with FairFax to any other potential donors.

Trisha’s Story

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  After 4.5 LONG years (4 failed IVFs and 7 failed IUIs) of trying to conceive, we found the Fairfax Eggbank Family, and we couldn’t be happier with our experience.  After working with four different doctors and assessing about 10 other eggbanks, the moment we spoke to my coordinator at Fairfax EggBank, we knew we hit jackpot.  She was not only extremely responsive but also attentive and patient.  As you can imagine, during the selection process we were very picky.  But, she was very patient and punctual with responding to our inquiries for additional information on potential donors or candidates.  From start to finish, she was thorough, honest, and professional.

Skipping forward to the day we found out we were finally pregnant with Micah – which BTW was only our first attempt with the donor eggs – we were extremely ecstatic, as I’m sure you can imagine.  We immediately called my coordinator to thank the Fairfax Family endlessly for their support, healthy eggs, and seamless process.  We think what also helped was the manner of which they established a relationship with our doctor.  It made the whole experience so much easier and personal.  Through the process it just seemed like we were one big family, equally hoping for success.  In fact, my coordinator actually got very emotional when she learned we were successful.  I loved it!!!

Now our son is almost 6 months old, and I don’t think a month has gone by – since the time we found out we were pregnant – that someone from Fairfax hasn’t reached-out just to check on our family.  We feel like they’re family now, and we want to thank them from the bottom of hearts for helping to make this possible :-)!!  By far, they have the best prices of all places we consulted and, when it comes to top-notch customer service, they rank higher than the best!!  THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

We love you honorary Fairfax Family :-)!!!

Thank you letter from a recipient to a donor

Below is a recent letter from an egg donor recipient, who wanted to express anonymously to her egg donor just how grateful she was.

Hello,

I don’t know even where to begin with my gratitude to you.  I know that you and I will never meet, but I want you to know every day I am so thankful you have given me and my husband hope to become parents.  I think about the sacrifice it took for you to be selfless to help people have a family.

When I started the donor egg process, I have to admit I was thinking I wouldn’t find someone who matched me or had the same values as me.  After reading your profile there were so many similarities.  You and I were both softball players and we have a lot of the same physical features, but the biggest reason why I chose you was how you wanted your kids to be kind.  That is what I have always wanted for my children.

I don’t think you realize what you have given to our family. We are now excited and hopeful for the future.  When I was diagnosed with my form of infertility, which was premature ovarian failure, I was so scared and anxious about the future.  We now have a plan something to look forward to.  Please know we consider you an angel.  I thank God every day for you giving us this opportunity.  Both of us have longed for a baby for so long and because of you we are one step closer.

I hope that every woman that goes through this finds an egg donor that fits them as perfect as I did.  I will continue to be thankful for you every day for the rest of my life.  Once again thank you, thank you, thank you!  I am forever grateful and you will always have a special place in our hearts.

 

Sincerely,

Your donor egg recipient

Julie’s Story

I first got turned on to the idea of donating my eggs after watching a Youtube video (of all things). The content creator said she was able to pay for college and simultaneously have a positive influence in people’s lives. With an introduction to egg donation like that, I was ready to sign up!

Honestly speaking, kids had not been part of my life plan, but once I had my first child just a couple years ago, I realized THIS is what all the fuss is about! I love being a Mom. It had finally dawned on me just how badly someone can want a child. And the ability to actually help someone else grow a family really appealed to me!

My Motivation

I personally know women who have struggled to conceive. It broke my heart to see my good friend try for years; I witnessed her struggles. What sealed the deal for me was understanding for the first time that there was actually a way to help people like her. People want to help their friends when they’re down, and infertility is something that can seem puzzling when you just want special people in your life to feel better. Donating my eggs would mean maybe someone just like her could have that little person to cherish, whom they wouldn’t be able to have otherwise.

Student debt was also hanging over my head around this time. I work full time and so does my husband, but with trying to get a house and needing to set aside our emergency fund on top of paying down debt and taking care of household necessities, cash flow wasn’t where we wanted. So when I learned that I could actually be compensated for my time and efforts to donate, that sealed the deal for me.

Learning About Me

Search engines helped me discover a little more about what was specifically involved in donating eggs and the best avenues to go about doing so. As I started looking into egg banks and applying, I did a little more research: all about my family tree.

The steps to applying for donation only had one real hurdle: me. I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I would say things like “I’ll never be accepted” or “this is taking too long.” But little by little, I’d answer questionnaires online for a few minutes one day, and call some relatives the next to find the missing puzzle pieces of my family’s genetic past that I needed to proceed. Happily, I learned more about where I came from, my genetic health, and my family than I ever thought I would.

Why Fairfax EggBank

Initial Googling brought me to the Fairfax Egg Bank website, among other results. I wanted to entrust my eggs somewhere that had a solid foundation of fertility experience; simply put, they were the best. They had a strong history and a large network of partnered clinics throughout the U.S., including one very close to my home. It was an easy choice!

When I was accepted into the donor program with Fairfax EggBank, I was given plenty of time to back out if I had second thoughts, or to simply wait until I was ready to proceed. I didn’t feel pressured in the least, and any follow-up questions they had for me were considerate and confidential. Fairfax EggBank really made me feel valued as an egg donor, and they responded promptly to any questions or concerns I had.

So let’s run through this honestly:

  1. Somewhere a family may be able to grow because I helped them
  2. Compensation really helped me pay down my student debt
  3. I learned more about my family and my own genetic blueprints

Now that I’ve undergone one egg donation cycle, and am in the process of doing my second, I plan on doing it at least a couple more times. I feel so appreciated and cherished, and I can have pride in knowing that I helped someone who just wants to be “Mommy.”

Cara’s Story

What motivated you to become an egg donor?

So what really motivated me to become an egg donor in the first place was my son. I have a toddler and he’s just so amazing – he’s the best thing ever. So, he really motivated me to want to help intended parents and couples and individuals trying to conceive, so they can gain that same experience that I have with my son, with a child of their own.

Why did you choose Fairfax EggBank?

The reason I chose Fairfax EggBank to begin with is because I liked the idea that after the egg donation procedure, they freeze the eggs so you don’t have to match cycles with anybody, it’s a lot less stressful and it takes a lot of pressure off of egg donors in my personal opinion. And just working with them in general is awesome.

Did you feel any pain or side effects during the process?

A lot of my family and friends have asked me “Was it painful?” , “Did you have any side effects?”, and “How does it work?”. For me, it wasn’t painful at all. You do have, well I had some mild discomfort after the procedure, I would compare it to light menstrual cramping, but the next day I was up doing household stuff – I was actually back at work, so it was a pretty smooth and easy experience for me.

Do you have any regrets about becoming an egg donor?

Knowing that I may have helped a couple conceive a child is just amazing to me, it’s such a rewarding feeling, it just really warms your heart. I can’t even explain it because it’s just – being a mother myself, I couldn’t imagine not having my son and knowing that you’re helping another couple or individuals have a child and conceive a child is just awesome.

 

Inspired to become an egg donor?

Apply Now!

Ellen’s Story

What motivated you to become an egg donor?

Being able to help someone it’s something that I’ve always had in my mind. One day on my way to work I heard about egg donations and there are many couples having a hard time to conceive on the radio. Then I thought becoming an egg donor seemed like a fantastic thing to do so without any doubts I decided to give it a try.

Why did you choose Fairfax EggBank?
The staff Fairfax EggBank really made me feel special and as if I was a family. They are also great at working around my schedule, answering questions, and helping me with my concerns I had.
It can get busy but the staff are very kind and patient guiding me through every step.

How were the needle injections for you?
The first shot is always the hardest but after that it just got easier over time. I barely feel any pain and injections took less than five minutes a day.

What would you share with others interested in becoming an egg donor?
I’m very proud to say I am a donor. If you are curious about being an egg donor and you feel you are likely to be eligible I encourage you to do it it’s not as hard as you may think and not everyone gets to have this special opportunity to help others. I suggest you contact Fairfax EggBank and they will guide you through it.

 

Inspired to become an egg donor?

Apply Now!

Kate’s Story

Kate was in her early 20s when she became an egg donor at Fairfax EggBank. When she’s not working full-time or attending college classes, she can be found playing volleyball, riding horses, singing, playing guitar, or reading. She first heard about the egg donor program at Fairfax EggBank through her sister and says, “I didn’t have to think twice.” Upon learning about the program, she felt (and still feels) that it was her opportunity to donate “the greatest gift of all, life.”

“I’ve always been a giving person, so it gives me great joy to know that I am able to give a loving couple hope in creating a family.” Kate says she may have a passing thought every now and then about the recipient family, but it isn’t something she dwells on. She is more concerned with the opportunity to contribute and help others in need, which she says has been “such a fulfilling experience.”

Kate has been very open with her family and friends about her decision to become an egg donor. They have all been extremely supportive and understanding of her decision, something she values a great deal. Her experience so far as an egg donor has been such a gratifying one that she whole-heartedly encourages other young women to explore egg donation. What’s up next for Kate? She looks forward to finishing her degree, pursuing a career in healthcare, and starting a family of her own one day.

Michelle’s Story

Michelle’s story as an egg donor started over five years ago when she was in her early 20s and just starting her marketing career in the Washington, DC area. Like many young professionals of that age, she was struggling to make the most of a modest salary. One night while talking about these challenges with friends, someone mentioned the egg donor program at Fairfax EggBank as a possible solution to Michelle’s struggle.

Shortly thereafter, Michelle looked into the egg donor program and after much research found it to be a very easy decision. She says, “I considered all of the elements involved and the potential negatives just weren’t strong enough to outweigh the positives, and in the long run, the experience turned into being more about helping someone else and less about the money.” After completing the maximum amount of cycles allowed for an egg donor, she has “absolutely no regrets.” Knowing people who have faced infertility treatment, she says “to know how much they wanted to have babies and how hard they tried to get there just made it that much more rewarding for me.”

When asked if she ever wonders about the families she helped to create, Michelle says that while it makes her very happy to have been able to help others achieve their dreams, she doesn’t over think the possibilities. “The process and the folks at Fairfax EggBank were a very important part of my life for a while, but I see it as a mission that I’ve completed. The families that have been created with my help are off doing their own thing. It’s lovely to know I could help, but now they’re on their own!”

Michelle was and still is very open with family and friends about having been an egg donor, “I have always been extremely open about it, including why I did it, how the whole process played out, and how much I trust everyone at Fairfax EggBank ” She enjoys sharing stories with friends and coworkers, which educates others about egg donation. She encourages other young women to consider donating if they feel comfortable with the idea of egg donation, as well as everything the donation process entails. While Michelle found the doctor’s visits, injections, and egg retrieval procedure to be relatively easy, she encourages someone to “trust their gut” as to whether egg donation is right for them or not.

Now, Michelle and her husband are ready to start a family of their own. With her experience as an egg donor, she feels very prepared for pregnancy because part of the journey is already familiar to her. Looking back at her history as an egg donor, she says “it’s a very big part of who I am because I did it numerous times over several years. However, it didn’t require all that much sacrifice on my end and I don’t have any regrets. Most importantly, it gave me the chance to give someone a child they wanted, which created a family. While I don’t have the chance to think about it much because I’m living my own busy life every day, when I do think about it, it sure makes me proud.”