At first, I wasn’t sure how to begin to write this. After giving it some thought, I opted to start at the very beginning of my journey. For some of you it will hit home and for others it might not. Either way, (you’ve been warned) the following is not sugar-coated, because my goal is to wake you… shake you… warn you… because nobody else did this for me.
I grew up with two parents who were not in love with each other. They got pregnant while dating. In short, they went through the motions raising me because, back then, divorces were unheard of. I swore to myself that I would never marry or get pregnant unless I was in love. Do not get me wrong, I lived a very happy and celebrated life. I had an amazing career that also helped to blaze a path for future generations, while contributing to society. Then I found … him.
We started trying to have a baby almost immediately, but without success. Like so many others, I was under the delusion that for as long as I had my period, I was capable of getting pregnant. I’m telling you all this because I wished that I had someone tell me all of this. For example, my OBGYN never approached me during my 20’s and so on about freezing my eggs, nor was I asked if I wanted to check my FSH and hormone levels, etc., at any time. After everything that I had gone through, I think it should be a prerequisite for all OBGYNS to have this discussion with all of their patients.
Anyhoo, we went to a fertility specialist and, shockingly, my FSH and hormones were equivalent to a 30 year old. That is why the specialist accepted me as a patient. He cautioned that those levels DID NOT necessarily mean that I would get pregnant or have a successful full term or have a “normal” child. Naturally, he was correct. After a few rounds of IUIs, a turn of events forced us to put fertility on hold.
Years later, when that situation subsided, I knew at this point for me to have my family, I needed help from a donor. Then it was a matter of choosing fresh or frozen. I was fortunate to have known two women who chose the fresh donor route. In short, after hearing their grueling stories, with their Doctors’ cold and callous approach, the end result was that they both wound up with only one viable embryo. One friend had a beautiful boy and the other had a gorgeous girl. After being by their side during their ordeals and bearing witness to their heartache, I opted for frozen. I soon after opted for Fairfax because they show pictures of the donors as well as guarantee one viable embryo.
Now, my experience with Fairfax…
I dealt with Samantha. Samantha is a calm, collected and reasonable person. Every time that I had a question, she answered directly and honestly. When she didn’t know, she said so and got back to me with an answer. I was so lucky to have been paired with someone like me… good old fashioned honesty. I was therefore able to assess my options better and make realistic decisions because of Samantha’s professionalism.
When it came to my fertility procedure, this time it was IVF. I am not going to lie, most of the people in this fertility clinic were cold and callous. I did not go to the same clinics as my other two friends. The process was extremely terrifying… a lot of “ifs.” Samantha was always there to balance that out… filling in the bedside manners. Every single time, she was available to explain the procedures and reassure me, when I needed to be calm and confident with my choices. In the end, Samantha became my ‘go to’ because I often felt that I could not rely upon the specialist or the clinic… most of them often could not be bothered with taking the time to address my concerns and elaborate the way that Samantha did.
Samantha kept me calm all throughout my frustrated and panicked days… well, whenever I called her. I called her to tell her the clinic’s initial claim on viable blastocysts; there were 3. Days later, I then called to tell her the end result – there was only one viable blastocyst – the one inside of me. I had to patiently wait to see if the blastocyst would Implant and develop. Naturally, at this point, it could have gone either way so I deliberately remained calm because I didn’t want to look back and blame myself if it did not work out… it was very grueling waiting for the results.
I presently have a wonderful, healthy child who drives me happily and LOVINGLY crazy. My beautiful child… my incredible and amazing child.
Thank you Samantha for your integrity… for being there… and for being you.
Thank you Fairfax for your vigorous effort and technology to help all of us who have a story as to why we couldn’t do it on our own. May you continue to do just that.
~ An Anonymous Mommy ~